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Peanuts from Heaven

Welcome to our Twins blog. We'll bring up some "facts" and "stats", from time to time, but our real strength lies in sarcasm, silliness and Yankee-baiting.

  1. The 2013 Twins by the Only Stat that Matters (Part 2: The Hitters)

    This is the second in a series of three articles evaluating the Twins 2013 Season. First we introduced the stat, now we're using it to analyze hitters, finally we'll use it to analyze pitchers.
    Anyone can evaluate a player's performance in the field, but what about their performance in the field of entertainment?


    The Twins completed their third straight 90-loss season, but rather than chastise the unproductive and cheer the talented, I'm here to praise the players who made
    ...
  2. Wha' Happened #10 ("Best" Games)

    There's a fuller write up "recapping" the last week plus in Twins Territory at our main blog, but here are a few key samplings from each series

    Game 76
    Marlins 5 - Twins 3
    The Twins have a good deal of early success against Miami's starter in the first inning, they run into trouble against Kevin "Killthrow" Slowey, who savored the opportunity to best the team that let him go. Elsewhere "Dr. Cakeburn"Nick Blackburn, and Boof Bonser plotted their ...
  3. Wha' Happened #9 (GAME OF THE WEEK)

    Rather than continually reposting the same stuff here as on my other website--and since these recaps are often (week[s]) late--I'm going to trim down these posts to more manageable bite size single best game write ups I've got, and trust that if you want to read more you will find it at THIS WEBSITE!

    Game 69
    Twins 7 - White Sox 5
    The Twins do not care for power hitting. It hurts the feelings of our opponents after all, and we can't have that.


    But we're ...

    Updated 06-25-2013 at 09:42 AM by PeanutsFromHeaven

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  4. Wha Happened? #8 (@ Kansas City, Washington; V.s. Philadelphia and Detroit)

    Look out ladies!
    Game 57
    Twins 3 - Royals 0
    Right after we honored him as Mr. Peanut for the past two weeks, Ryan Doumit kept it going all Magic Mike Style, bringing sexy back as only he can.

    ...
  5. Wha Happened? #7 (Red Sox, Braves, Tigers, Brewers, Brewers, Mariners)

    There was agony during the last two weeks of Twins baseball (including 7 straight losses to run a losing streak to 10) and ecstasy (including winning 6 of their last 7). The season continues tonight in Kansas City, but before you see that game, let's review what happened in the last few weeks.
    Game 40
    Red Sox 3 - Twins 2
    Remember about a month ago, when we went into Boston and dominated the Red Sox to win 3 of 4? Turns out they didn't like that very much. And brought a rather curt ...
  6. Wha Happened? #6 (Indians, Red Sox, Orioles and White Sox)

    Rumors of our demise our greatly exaggerated. Rumors of the school year ending, our student teacher leaving and our work load increasing dramatically are absolutely accurate. Here now, a pseudo-recap of the weeks since the Twins last got a day off.
    Game 27

    Indians 7 - Twins 6
    Long ago I first wrote about the magical Land of Cleve, a blighted kingdom where no team can win for long and where all the knights in the land eventually flee for other kingdom's with better ...

    Updated 05-16-2013 at 03:05 PM by PeanutsFromHeaven

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  7. Wha Happened? #5 (vs Rangers and @ Tigers)

    Here again, is a brief and not at all accurate reflection of how the Twins did over the past week

    Game 20

    Rangers 2 - Twins 1
    Despite the evening's overlong, numbingly-slow, seemingly interminable catalogue of the talents of others, the Twin Cities were delighted by their own brief shining moment of glory.

    But enough has been written about the Vikings' draft...The Twins also played and saw Josh Willingham hit a homerun in a losing effort to a ...

    Updated 05-02-2013 at 08:06 AM by PeanutsFromHeaven

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  8. Wha Happened #4 (@ White Sox & v.s. Marlins)

    Here's your quick, easy, inaccurate guide to the last week in Twins Baseball
    Game 15

    Cold Weathered Out
    After going all the way to Chicago just to find out that another game would be postponed due to inclement weather, the Twins groaned loudly in protest. Manager Ron Gardenhire's offer to take everyone out for ice cream was a nice thought but...seriously...whose thinking about ice cream on the 79th day of February?



    Game 16
    ...
  9. Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels)

    Game 10

    Mets 16 - Twins 5
    Artists rendering of
    a Metropolitan player
    Yeah...that happened. But on the plus side, at least our name isn't a shortened form of the snobby title "Metropolitans". As in: "Oh, how droll! The
    ...
  10. Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels)

    Game 10

    Mets 16 - Twins 5
    Artists rendering of
    a Metropolitan player
    Yeah...that happened. But on the plus side, at least our name isn't a shortened form of the snobby title "Metropolitans". As in: "Oh,
    ...
  11. Wha Happened? #2 (@ Orioles and Royals)

    We're happy to keep guiding you through the strange but true events of the Twins 2013 season
    *Note: Events are not actually true, but would be very entertaining if they were.

    Here's our second edition of Twins recaps as only we can do them: inaccurately but chock full of puns and bad jokes!


    Game 4

    Orioles 9-Twins 5
    ...
  12. Wha Happened? #1 (v.s. Tigers)

    In an effort to keep my blogging on a more consistent time-line, I have decided that rather than writing when the mood strikes me (or when I sigh dispiritedly at my inactivity), I will try to post short recaps of each series after they wrap up--this way I have a regular time to write and a consistent subject to write about.

    Of course, while lots of people will tell you what happened, only we Peanuts can tell you what happened...in our imagination!

    Game 1
    Tigers 4-Twins
    ...
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