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Kevin Slowey was Framed!

All the effort of some sort of horrible amalgamation of Denny Hocking, Matt Tolbert and Nick Punto. But no frosted tips. Now with puns!

  1. Monday Morning Madness - August 5, 2013

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    We can finally put the "could the Twins even beat a AAA team" jokes to bed. They can. The Astros are pathetic, even if their rebuild strategy is being lauded by many. While that strategy might work out long-term, the current team is rotten and I can't even imagine being an Astros fan right now. At least the Twins have a couple players worth watching while they flail. Anyway, the Twins rebounded nicely after the Royals series ...
  2. August Mailbag!

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    As always, these are actual questions written by someone and answered by me. I may also be that other someone. It's not a big deal.

    Justin Morneau recently passed Bob Allison for fourth all-time in Twins' career home runs. Of course, he's still behind Allison in franchise history, but whatever. Morneau has 212 home runs and counting. Who will be the next Twins' player to pass Morneau on the all-time home run list?
    ...
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  3. 20 Twins Trades: Welcome to Punto Country!

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about the two Luis Castillo trades this week. It's a bit long, but there were two trades, SO GIVE ME A BREAK. Here it is, enjoy.

    There was blood in the water. A.J. Pierzynski was still warm. The Twins had just turned one soon-to-be-expensive player into three shiny new parts, each carrying a much smaller price tag. The Twins were carrying a seven-figure pitcher who was going to get even more expensive. Why not swap him ...
  4. Monday Morning Madness - July 29, 2013

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    So, are the Twins not terrible or is this just another mirage? I've got to say, I've been going back and forth between "this team sucks" and "this team doesn't really suck" far too many times. I'm growing tired of it. It would be nice to just know, you know? Every time I see a lineup posted, I giggle and then make a sad, pathetic joke about Rochester. The starting pitching is underwhelming. However, the Twins have ...
  5. 20 Twins Trades: The Pierzynski Bonanza!

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also reviewed the Dave Gassner trade, which you probably remember because Shannon Stewart and Bobby Kielty were involved. You can read it here.

    The 2004 season marked two important Twins milestones. First, the team was coming off of playoff runs in consecutive seasons for the first time in over thirty years. Second, the Baby Jesus, Joe Mauer was primed for his MLB debut. As a result of the second milestone, the Twins were looking ...
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  6. Monday Morning Madness - July 22, 2013

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    The Twins are on fire. They have won back-to-back series for the first time since late May/early June. In doing so, they have put a little cushion between themselves and the last place White Sox. The Twins really capitalized on the Indians' pathetic defense (most notably Lonnie Chisenhall, who I feel very sorry for at this point) and won two of three games over the weekend. Winning four out of six games is a major accomplishment with ...
  7. 20 Twins Trades: 2 Trades for 1 in 2001

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote about the Todd Walker or Butch Huskey trade, depending on who you ask. You can find it here.

    2001 was the first season in what would become a nearly decade-long turnaround of the Twins' franchise. For the first time in ages, the Twins were in a position to buy at the trade deadline, rather than sell. This exciting season was about to get more exciting! Two separate trades signified that the Twins were going to finally do ...
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  8. Monday Morning Madness: July 15, 2013

    If you gave me a list of outcomes from this weekend's series with the Yankees, I would have ordered their likelihood as such:

    1. Yankees Sweep
    2. Yankees spontaneously combust; Yankee dust sweeps Twins
    3. Yankees win 2 of 3; Twins win game 2 because all Yankees oversleep
    4. Yankees win 2 of 3 fair and square
    5. Twins win 2 of 3 because all Yankees lock their keys in their cars
    6. Twins win 2 of 3 fair and square
    7. The universe ends abruptly
    8. Twins Sweep

    Of course, watching the Yankees ...
  9. Trade Talk: Colorado Rockies

    Buyers or Sellers

    The Rockies are sitting just below .500, but they are actually closer to the NL West lead than a Wild Card berth. They haven't made the playoffs since 2009 and their best offensive players are approaching 30. Their farm system is not impressive either, so the future might be now. After finishing third worst in all of Major League Baseball in 2012, hovering just below .500 is a large improvement and worthy of seeing what they can buy with savvy trades. Although, ...
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  10. 20 Twins Trades: The Knoblauch Debacle

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! I also wrote a summary of the Kevin Tapani trade earlier this week. You can find it here.

    An unhappy superstar hoping to rekindle the team success he achieved in his rookie season. A budding dynasty looking to add a couple final pieces to a Championship-level team. Later, batteries. You know what I'm talkin' about.

    The Trade: BREAKDOWN!

    The Minnesota Twins traded Chuck Knoblauch to the New York Yankees for ...
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  11. Monday Morning Madness - July 8, 2013

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    The Twins dropped two of three in their series against the Blue Jays and in the process, they dropped to eleven games below .500. The Twins are on a 70-win pace, which would be a huge improvement and a giant disappointment at the same time. Prior to the season, if you had told me the Twins were going to win 70 games, I'd have laughed so hard that my pants would have fallen down. I never wore belts. After the first third of the season, ...
  12. Holiday Mailbag!

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    Holiday Mailbag? Holiday Mailbag.

    I hope everyone had a fun and leisurely 4th. I kept it cool, just hanging out in my house and laying low. I watched the Twins game yesterday and I was saddened by Kyle Gibson's performance. I think he'll bounce back, but seeing him struggle was a good reminder that he is a rookie and there will be growing pains. Enough analysis, I'm here to answer questions from myself.

    Carlos Gomez ...
  13. 20 Twins Trades: Scott Erickson for dreck

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    I also wrote about the two Rick Aguilera trades on Tuesday, you can read them here.

    Just one day after trading away Rick Aguilera, one of the more popular players on the Twins team, General Manager Terry Ryan's bloodlust was cresting and he was hungry for another trade. Who would be his next victim?

    The Trade: BREAKDOWN!

    The Minnesota Twins traded Scott Erickson to the Baltimore Orioles for Scott Klingenbeck ...

    Updated 07-03-2013 at 11:59 AM by Brad Swanson

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  14. Monday Morning Madness: July 1, 2013

    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

    The Twins and Royals split a four-game series over the long weekend. It was an EPIC series! Well, it wasn't all that epic, but PHANTOM CAM made it a bit more epic. I'll be honest, I'd like to watch an entire game in PHANTOM CAM. Although, that would take a few years. Think of all we would see though! Here are some thoughts I have from the PHANTOM CAM series.

    Kyle Gibson

    I believe Kyle Gibson made his debut ...
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