Mr. Horrorpants

With a ground covered by snow and flakes drifting down from the sky, yesterday made me wonder if spring is coming again and the Twins pitchers and catchers need to report to Florida soon.

A double dose of spring training couldn't hurt, right? I tuned into the game when I started in on supper, and Vance Worley had coughed up 10 runs by the time our meal was done.

I had a hankering to go to that game, but when I texted the wife to see if she was down for wintery baseball ...

Tags: sprinter, twinsinstereo, vance worley

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Another bland game, suffered through on a Minnesota night where the only thing worse than the grey ugliness in the sky is the twenty feet of snow coming next. The Twins didn't plate a run in a game. 11 strikes outs. Swept by the Royals. I sincerely hope we can bury this game under the snow and forget it.

Earlier in my day, I enjoyed the Rue Morgue Podcast. Horror expert Andrea Subissati mentioned a Wade Davis, the ethnobiologist whose work regarding voodoo and zombies was the direct ...

Tags: parmalee, provus, subissati, twinsinstereo, wade davis

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With the evening pre-booked, I monitored this Twins game from my cell phone while revisiting cherished David Cronenberg movies from years past.

At least, I started to. After it took me days to scroll down through MLB At Bat listings for Mike Pelfrey's first inning, there was no need to devote excessive brain power to watching the Twins continue their swirl down the drain.

Three home runs was nice, though.

Monitoring the game on your phone is as close as you ...

Tags: david cronenberg, mike pelfrey, twinsinstereo

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I caught the beginning of the Twins/Royals game on my car radio. I parked to catch the first pitch and enjoy shivering memories of watching the Evil Dead remake in the theater.

The movie was good, and I finally experienced my horror lover's no-hitter: I watched a scary movie in a theater all by myself. That's right - in a theater devoid of all other human beings.

That's a good'n to watch solo, too. If the creepy noises don't get you squirming, the over-the-top gore will ...

Tags: ervin santan, evil dead, kevin correia, ryan doumit, twinsinstereo

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With one week of 2013 in the books, the Twins have won their first two series of the year and boast a 4-2 record.

The mechanism powering these victories seems to rely on the team getting a few lucky bounces per game. If the team doesn't find some stable slugging and more dependable fielding, this burst of good fortune may give way to a mudslide of loss and despair.

The real star of Sunday's 4-3 victory of the Twins was Carly Rae Jepsen. The "Call Me Maybe" threw ...

Tags: cory provus, dan gladden, parker hageman, twinsinstereo

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Didn't listen to the Twins game. Had the chance to see the Timberwolves play, and I was lucky enough to see the game where Coach Adelman got his 1000 career victory.

The Twins won, too. In our social media world, you never miss the baseball game. My friend and I tuned into it on the radio on the car ride to the game, when things still seemed sluggish for the team in blue. I learned they had taken the lead from a Twins tweet texted directly to my phone, and I learned the game was tied ...

Tags: adelman, social media, twinsinstereo

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A day after imaging a Twins path to the playoffs, everything awful I was expecting from the team showed up for 9 innings of baseball. Mauer didn't get a hit. The starting pitcher didn't go 5 innings. The bullpen gave out like a bad back.

To top it off, the sky filled with snow while the game was on. I didn't catch much of this one - just enough to give me the idea that Liam Hendriks might be a threat to my blood pressure this year.

Snow after opening day is like getting ...

Tags: hendriks, mauer, twinsinstereo

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As Twins broadcast signs off and repeats the 8-2 score, my thoughts turn to a Minnesota Twins playoff run.

Don't blame me. I tried to smother them in cynicism and reality.

The Twins just have to win games ugly and scrappy for this first third of the season. It's going to take cold weather, weird heroes, and relentless scrappiness.

In that time, they sort out their pitching staff. If they can come up with 3 above-average pitchers and then they can grind out ...

Tags: hicks, playoffs, roenicke, twinsinstereo

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I missed most of this game. I got into my car in time to hear Glen Perkins get all Mama Said Knock You Out on the top half of the ninth. My hopes went up, and Plouffe got on base right as I parked my car.

By the time I got inside and let the dog out, the Twins won on a walk-off double from Eduardo Escobar. I thought about tuning into the game for the post-game celebration but, when you miss the moment, you miss the moment.

From what I heard of the game, music at Target ...

Tags: eduardo escobar, roy smalley, twinsinstereo

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When I sat down in my home office and turned on the Nationals game to hear how Denard Span did with his new team, the sun was friendly and my view was mostly free from snow. By the time I got in my car and tuned into the Twins game, all I could see were piles of snow and gloomy skies.

Gray is the official color of being down by two runs.

The Twins must have settled in after that, but when I got back in my car I listened to them waste a bases loaded opportunity. Duensing ...

Tags: duensing, mauer, span, twinsinstereo

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The Twins take the field tomorrow for the first time in 2013's regular season. It'd be an awful lot easier to find some hope for the year if the snow wasn't so stubborn in getting off of my lawn.

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to record my impression of every Twins baseball game on this, my TwinsDaily blog. I'm taking a page from Stephen King and Stewart O'Nan, who documented a Red Sox season in their book Faithful.

Red Sox won the World Series when they wrote that book. ...

Tags: #twinsinstereo

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I've been married for over ten years, so trying to find an emotional connection with this group of Minnesota Twins pitchers is really hard for me.

Let me explain.

Trying to keep up with the Twins players getting their innings in on the mound feels like trying to keep up with a string of bland blind dates that almost - but don't quite - squash the hope right out of your heart.

I know this from single friends. It sounds like there's always something to like ...

I've liked Cory Provus from day one. The man calls a good ballgame. He doesn't oversell the drama. He sounds like baseball ought to.

Since I've permanently ditched cable for the radio, I've been spending a lot more time listening to Mr. Provus. My opinion hasn't changed.

However, I've begun to notice something.

He's funny.

He's really funny.

He isn't flashy about it. He's not about loud voices, zingers, or crazy stories. I can't quote ...

Tags: cory provus, twins

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While I was moping behind my snowblower, I noticed an unusual formation of snow. I turned off the machine and stepped closer to it.

The identify of those piles of snow became clear. You've seen them before, too. They're the smiling, handshaking baseball players whose image lights up when Twins players hit home runs. The players looked at me as if they were waiting for me to speak.

"Who will these 2013 Twins be?" I asked. "Who can I cheer for? Who can I believe ...

Tags: minor league, twins, winter

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