Kevin Slowey was Framed!

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Direct your hate mail appropriately.

Psst. You there. Yeah, you in the Twins hat and Joe Mauer shirsey. Put down that plush TC bear, I have a secret that I can't hold in any longer. This is very hard for me to say. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I've felt this way even longer. I can't hold it in; I need to confess to someone. I'm trusting you to keep my secret, but it won't be easy. Are you ready?

...

Tags: honesty, yankees

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The Twins dropped two of three from the Tigers this weekend, falling to 7.5 games out of a division that they were never going to win. While the Twins have played better in 2013, they still do not have the talent to match the Tigers over a full season. Yet, there were some positives from the weekend and I have some apologies to make as well.

I apologize to Clete Thomas. Just one week ago, I accused a wild turkey of creating a lineup that featured Clete Thomas batting second. While ...

Tags: clete thomas, glen perkins, monday madness, sam deduno, trevor plouffe

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

Ranking players is the single most important thing we can do as fans. If we don't know when players are better than other players, how can we properly argue about things? I certainly do not want to live in a world where rankings don't matter. However, the traditional measures - WAR, height, pants length, nicknames - are flawed. My solution: we agree to rank players based on the cost of their rookie card.

I'm just going ...

Tags: baseball cards

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

The 2013 MLB draft has come and gone. The Twins have added somewhere between 20 and 40 new players to their organization and I have no clue who 99% of them are. I do have access to Baseball Reference and the internet as a whole. In an effort to better acquaint myself with some future Twins, I will also subject each of you to a bunch of clumsily constructed jokes and feeble attempts at punnery. In that way, we all benefit.
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The Scott Diamond Matrix?

I made you a matrix:

	Plus Command	Average Command
Plus Stuff	Jordan Zimmermann	Sam Deduno
Average Stuff	Scott Diamond	Rich Robertson

I chose to use the word "average" to be kind to all stakeholders. By average, ...

Tags: aaron hicks, chris parmelee, monday madness, pedro florimon, scott diamond

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

With the conclusion of my landmark 25 drafts in 25 days feature, I decided that I needed to stop relying so heavily on gimmicks. It's time to do some real analysis and actually offer something of value. No more insulting everyone with silly lists and bad photoshops. It's time to take things very seriously.

So, here's a fake mailbag:

What do you think of the Kohl Stewart pick?

~Prospect Guys, Twins ...

Tags: aaron hicks, byron buxton, kohl stewart, mailbag

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

I have reached the end of my journey. Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go, Twins' drafts. It's unnatural. As such, I wanted to thank everyone for the positive feedback and for simply reading these recaps. I really enjoyed the research and I really enjoyed sharing what I found. I also appreciate the support from Twins Daily and their willingness to put these on the Front Page. I think the proudest moment ...

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

I didn't catch any of the Twins' series with Seattle this weekend, so it seemed a bit disingenuous to write about it. I'm sure everyone will survive a week without stupid photoshops and my silly antics. Instead, I present to you another draft, one day early. If you missed my 2008 or 2009 summary, you can click the year and check them out. I did declare my secret love for a player, so that is certainly worth seeking out.

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

Welcome once more to 25 drafts in 25 days. We are nearing the end of this endeavor, which means we are also nearing the actual 2013 draft. I know that I am very excited to see who the next wave of future Twins will be. In the meantime, here are my recaps from 2005 and 2006, to tide you over. Just click the years and enjoy the beautiful layout.

Here is 2007:

The 2005 and 2006 drafts were Snickers bars, just ...

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

Hello again, Twins Daily. We are getting closer and closer to draft day. With a little over a week left until the Twins make their next draft choices, I present to you my recaps from 2001, 2002, and 2003. Just click the years to see which of those three drafts was the most handsome.

Here is 2004:

The 2003 draft produced Scott Baker and heartache. First-round pick Matt Moses never reached the Majors, marking ...

Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

The Twins lost three of four from the Tigers this weekend and have now lost eleven of their last twelve. Yikes. After flirting with .500 through six weeks, the Twins now have the second worst record in the American League. The Twins are 11th in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed. Bad combo, bro. The dream has died, as this team doesn't appear to have the talent to hover at .500 for a full season.

The Front Office had ...

Updated 05-27-2013 at 10:03 AM by Brad Swanson

Tags: monday madness

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

I had intended to run some errands this afternoon, but then I saw this tweet:

Joe Benson is a member of the Texas Rangers organization...
— Seth Stohs (@SethTweets) May 25, 2013

I was confused, but I knew this was an option. The Twins needed a 40-man spot for the immortal P.J. Walters, and Benson has been injured or terrible ever since his 2011 September call-up. Even in earning his 2011 promotion, he had ...

Tags: joe benson

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

If you are interested, I have recaps from 1998 and 1999 as well. Just click on the years and you will be transported to a wonderful new world filled with bad jokes, silly puns and petty insults aimed at baseball players far superior to me.

Here is my 2000 draft recap:

Welcome to the new millennium!!!!!! Do you remember the Willennium?

In 1999, the Twins finally added B.J. Garbe to their system. ...

Tags: 25 drafts

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

Hi, Twins Daily! In the last few days, I have posted a few more draft recaps at my blog. If you missed them, and want to read about them, you can find them here: 1994, 1995, 1996.

Here is 1997:

Travis Lee was being a real jag and didn't want to sign with the Twins after the 1996 draft. The Twins did not want to duplicate that jaggery in 1997. They had a strict "no-jag" policy in '97, opting instead ...

Tags: 25 drafts

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