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  • Joe Mauer Is Having Twins

    For years, it's been clear that the Twins belong to Joe Mauer. It's nice to to get a little divine confirmation.

    Late last night news broke that Joe's Mauer's wife, Maddie, is pregnant with Twins. (Oops. I meant "twins." The capitalization has become a habit. Though I suppose it is possible that she could be pregnant with future Twins. Gotta love those Mauer genes.) According to Joe, everything so far is "so good." Yes, yes it is Joe. For all of us. Let the "extra-base power" jokes begin!

    Of course, Joe's not the one who gets to carry not one, but two human beings inside himself for the next couple of months. Maddie might want to approach the next eight months with the same attitude Denny Hocking did when his wife had twins. When someone pointed out to him that he was the first franchise player to have twins while playing for the Twins, he replied "At least I don't play for the Sixers."

    I'll be honest, this news has put a little hop in my step today. first, because it is the most Minnesotan story ever. For most of the rest of the nation, if the news broke that a ballplayer was going to "have" twins, they would have assumed they looked like this:

    Nope, not in Minnesota. We assume two overweight, overly-friendly guys, shaking hands over a river. (Maddie can be happy she isn't carrying THAT for the next eight months, too.)

    I also love that the Twins franchise player is having twins. Three years ago, when I reviewed that $23 million per year contract that Joe got, I didn't think of this as a possible benefit. And if this news came down today and Mauer was a Yankee or a Red Sock, I'd be a little bummed. It would have been just one more log on the "We're Minnesotans and we can't have nice things" bonfire. I'm a little tired of watching that thing burn.

    Instead, the more ethereal of us can talk ourselve into this being a positive omen. The Baby Jesus having twins? Our favorite Twin having twins just about the same time that the Twins are themselves being reborn? That's GOT to be good, right?

    I can get a little carried away. Why not? It's spring. The time when a young man's mind wanders to love, and baseball, and babies.

    And Twins. Er, twins. Oh, hell - TWINS.
    This article was originally published in blog: Joe Mauer Is Having Twins started by John Bonnes
    Comments 13 Comments
    1. Boom Boom's Avatar
      Boom Boom -
      They may be twins, but they're also yankees, and I have a hunch they may also be athletics.
    1. ThatsRich's Avatar
      ThatsRich -
      What else would you expect from a player so accustomed to 'grounding into two.'

      Sorry - couldn't resist.
    1. ThatsRich's Avatar
      ThatsRich -
      I'm also certain his wife is glad he didn't opt for football - and end up playing with the 49ers.

      OK, now I'm just piling on...
    1. Parker Hageman's Avatar
      Parker Hageman -
      Coors lights! #silverbullet #taptherockies #frostbrewed
    1. JB_Iowa's Avatar
      JB_Iowa -
      Congrats to the Mauers. Of course, they could be like the Cuddyers have have 2 girls! Ah, but then they could be the first females to break the gender barrier in the mlb.
    1. YourHouseIsMyHouse's Avatar
      YourHouseIsMyHouse -
      The irony is too much for me to bare. Mr. Twin having Twins, unreal.
    1. h2oface's Avatar
      h2oface -
      Due at the end of August.......... the wedding on December 1....... the math indicates Joe really stepped up to the plate for the honeymoon.
    1. Don't Feed the Greed Guy's Avatar
      Don't Feed the Greed Guy -
      You can't make this up. Possible names? I vote for Paul and Babe--Molly and Ruth if they are girls.
    1. Puckett34's Avatar
      Puckett34 -
      Minnie and Paul if they are a boy and a girl.
    1. Twins Twerp's Avatar
      Twins Twerp -
      Joe II and Joe III, if George Foreman can do it why not Baby Jesus.
    1. luke829's Avatar
      luke829 -
      I could see this ending up on Jay Leno's "Headlines" bit that he does on Monday nights.
    1. FrodaddyG's Avatar
      FrodaddyG -
      Quote Originally Posted by luke829 View Post
      I could see this ending up on Jay Leno's "Headlines" bit that he does on Monday nights.
      WTF is Jay Leno?
    1. ashburyjohn's Avatar
      ashburyjohn -
      Quote Originally Posted by FrodaddyG View Post
      WTF is Jay Leno?
      He seems to be an entertainer on this new-fangled device called a television. I would look up more detail for you but my copy of the Internet is currently on loan to a friend.
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