Minnesota Twins News & Rumors Forum
  • Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels)

    The Twins finished their home stand with two wins, two losses and 16 frost-bitten digits. Let's recap:

    Game 10
    Mets 16 - Twins 5

    Yeah...that happened. But on the plus side, at least our name isn't a shortened form of the snobby title "Metropolitans". As in: "Oh, how droll! The Metropolitans have bested those cold weather klutzes in Minnesota! I must broach the topic with my Monacle repair man, when I go in for my bi-quarterly cleaning!"

    Game 11
    Mets 4 - Twins 2

    Returning to the team after surgery and rehab, Scott Diamond was warmly received. And through four shut out innings life was grand indeed as he pitched like he actually knew what he was doing.

    After finishing the fourth, Diamond returned to the dugout and got bearhugged by pitching coach Rick Anderson. "GOD I'VE MISSED YOU, SCOTT!! It's so good to see someone hit his spots and control the movement on his pitches. I can't tell you how awful it's been. I just...DON'T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!!"

    All this hugging and bromance was wonderful (though not exactly fun for Mike Pelfrey and Vance Worley to watch from their spots on the bench), however it did have the unfortunate side-effect of squeezing Diamond's very tender arm. This in turn led to an increase in his fatigue. Which led to giving up 7 straight hits and four runs. It also led to Justin Morneau cautiously avoiding all hug-happy coaches after his 7th inning homer helped the Twins avoid being no-hit.

    Game 12
    Sleeted Out

    Rather than playing the game the Twins curled up in the club house with big bowls of popcorn and watched classic movies like The Princess Bride and The Land Before Time.
    Game 13
    Twins 8 - Angels 2

    Full disclosure, Stinky and I watched most of this game after attending a scotch tasting at Surdyk's in North Minneapolis. From what we can tell from our notes scribbled on a variety of bar napkins: Joe Mauer's plate approach seems light, airy and almost floral at first before finishing like a dagger, while Kevin Correia continues to undermine our expectations by flourishing glimpses of smoke mixed with a wide range of candied toffee, vanilla and butterscotch notes...or pitches or whatever...(Also the Glendronach 12 year went 2 for 4 with a homer).

    Game 14
    Twins 8 - Angels 6


    Continuing a ramp up of aggressive posturing since his grandfather's birthday: our supreme leader Chairman Mauer continued his assault on Los Angeles decrying them as a "harbinger of Western [Division] decadence, whose profligate spending on talent will forever leave their souls empty of the hard work and moral triumph that is present in every Twinnesotan heart." When asked about his own oversized contract, the Chairman (praises be upon his sideburns) smote the reporter with a cleanly struck single up the middle.

    Game 15
    Snowed Out

    Up until the last minute the Twins were planning on playing the game. But once it became clear that the school bus sent to pick up rosy-cheeked rookies Oswaldo Arcia and Aaron Hicks wouldn't make it, and when Brian Dozier, Chris Parmelee and Ryan Pressley asked their moms to "pretty-please" not take them to the stadium, they had no choice but to give it up and plan to play LA another day.

    This week's Mr Peanut: Chairman Joe Mauer

    This week's Nutty Buddy: Aaron Hicks (There are two kinds of Aaron Hicks fans, those who want him to go down to AAA and figure his game out, and those who want to make him a bowl of chicken noodle soup and promise him that it'll all work out in the end...we're the latter.)


    This article was originally published in blog: Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels) started by PeanutsFromHeaven
    Comments 7 Comments
    1. Twins Daily Admin's Avatar
      Twins Daily Admin -
      You forgot the part where, as Diamond returned to the dugout after being pulled in the fifth, Anderson wailed "Not you too Scott! Why? WHY?!" and ran away weeping until Scotty Ulger brought some cold post-game dinner to his room.
    1. Han Joelo's Avatar
      Han Joelo -
      Holy schnikies!! Hilarious. Site Admins: If this is a regular post, please front page it every time. So much more readable than the daily diatribes about the Twins' mismanagement of the DL or the fifth starter.

      The writing sounds eerily familiar...Batgirl?
    1. snepp's Avatar
      snepp -
      I got numerous lolz out of it.
    1. Ultima Ratio's Avatar
      Ultima Ratio -
      Keep these weekly recaps coming, love the references.
    1. chaderic20's Avatar
      chaderic20 -
      Quote Originally Posted by Han Joelo View Post
      The writing sounds eerily familiar...Batgirl?
      I was thinking the same thing...
    1. Oldgoat_MN's Avatar
      Oldgoat_MN -
      Quote Originally Posted by Han Joelo View Post
      The writing sounds eerily familiar...Batgirl?
      The irreverence is right.
      Wasn't her tagline 'Fewer stats, more sass'?

      Nice to have brought her name up. Brings a smile to my face.
      As did this wrap-up.
    1. chaderic20's Avatar
      chaderic20 -
      It wasn't from the Twins, but I'd love to see the Jean Segura play in legovision.
©2014 TwinsCentric, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Interested in advertising with Twins Daily? Click here.