Things were a lot simpler when Take Me Out To The Ballgame was written, but they were also a lot less delicious. (And, admittedly, probably a lot thinner.) So how do you keep track of all delectables that Target Field has to offer? Easy – you just ask the Ticket King. Where your ideal Minnesota Twins tickets are depends on what it is you’re looking for…..
Wanted: High-End Minneapolis Meat
Got a friend coming to town who likes their steak and chops? Now you don’t have to choose between taking him to Murray’s Steak House for a steak sandwich and JD Hoyt’s for their legendary pork chop. Instead, you can take them to Target Field and have a taste of both. Murray’s has a special steak sandwich (Secton 105 and 319) they developed just for Target Field, complete with a slice of that crispy garlic toast. Meanwhile, you can get Hoyt’s Pork Chop On A Stick at the State Fair Classics stand in center field. Yeah, they’re both expensive - but so is the meat at Murray’s and JD Hoyt’s.
Wanted: Special Occasion
Got a special someone that loves the Twins and a special occasion? If so, consider reserving a couple of deck seats at the Metropolitan Club. It’ll cost you, but you’ll be treated to a buffet of gourmet food while overlooking the game from the first base line. The only trick – you need to be a season ticket holder to access the Metropolitan Club.
You would think taking small children to a Twins game would be super enjoyable. In reality, there is a good chance that they’re going to become bored quickly, at which point it’s not dissimilar to taking kids on a long airplane ride, only with 30,000 more people and less leg room. However, this year, the Twins have brought back a parent’s best friend: The Malt Cup.
When you want a couple of innings of peace and quiet in your Twins seats, just have the kids start looking for a vendor hawking this treat. It will take your little treat-mongers forever to chip away at this rock-hard frozen concoction with the provided wooden “spoon.” And they LOVE it.
If you feel like really pushing the envelope, when they’re thirsty afterwards, follow it up with a Lemon (or Berry) Chill, which is almost the exact same thing, yet somehow even colder and harder and pokier. Alleluia.
They’ve become ubiquitous wherever Minnesotans meet, but unlike Target Field’s cheese curd canoe (which just makes me sad), these are almost exactly as good as they are at the State Fair. They’re in right center field (Section 134), and I recommend the bag, not the bucket, as overly stuffed kids won’t have room for the Malt Cup ploy.
Wanted: The Basics
To some people, a ballgame isn’t a ballgame without a hot dog, and I’m in those ranks. The Schweigert dogs Target Field serves now are fine, but stay with the “original” dogs candy-striped vendors throughout the park will deliver to your seat. Many of the concession windows only sell “Big Dogs” which sound like they would be awesome, but come in a bun that is way too bready. Don’t make that mistake or you’re going to feel robbed.
Wanted: More Tubular Meats
If you’re looking to move beyond the basic hot dog, you’re covered by the choice of sausages and bratwursts around the ballpark. Sheboygan’s is a new purveyor at several concession stands, but the legendary ones are the Kramarczuk’s Sausage kiosks at sections 113, 116 and 312. Their polishes and brats are big, delicious and covered with onions and/or sauerkraut. About the only downside is that you might have trouble eating them with your hands and maintaining any dignity. Which has never stopped me.
Wanted: Impress Your Kid
You can get Killebrew Root Beer all over the ballpark, but if you really want to see your kids eyes grow wide, make your way to the Townball Tavern and order the Killebrew Root Beer Float. It’s served in a German beer hall sized mug and is sure to impress your kids and their friends, or that sweetie with a sweet tooth. Plus, it’s made to share, so you get some too.
Wanted: Off The Beaten Path
If you want something a little different, you’ll be happy to hear that the chefs at Target Field have tried to mix in some gourmet items. Behind home plate, you’ll find a selection of spicy mac n cheeses (cajun, buffalo and jalapeno) branded by The Food Network. And down the first base line (section 120) is Andrew Zimmerman’s AZ Canteen, where you can get a burger made out of blended goat and lamb meat. I know, I know – but it’s really good. Trust me on this.
Believe it or not, I’ve only scratched the surface. There are at least 25 or 30 other unique offerings. If you want to get the full list, stop by an information booth at Target Field and ask for the “Concessions and Retail Guide.” It’s small, it’s free and in it you’ll find 30+ foods as well as where they’re located. Then just make sure you have a full wallet and an empty stomach.