I awake with sore hands and forearms, worry and stress cause me to clench my fists while I sleep-an outward manifestation of an inward feeling. My body tenses up in a reaction to the stresses of life. The only way I am able to defend against my stress reaction is through letting go, through surrendering. The truth is-open hands are always better than clenched fists.
I cut through the Florida morning fog on the way to the complex and see the sun rising over empty fields. I walk into the clubhouse to over 100 peers. Over 100 teammates. Over 100 opportunities. This small space packed full of dreamers used to be chaos to all my senses, but now it appears different. I have changed its meaning.
I have dreamed of playing big games on big stages since I was a kid, but the more I play, the more I realize that the journey has been the dream all along. Recently I have wondered if the journey is about more than me. I would love to make a career out of baseball in the big leagues, it is something I strive for, but what if it's about something more? What if I could be a small piece of someone else's dream? What if a little encouragement or advice could help them make a career out of playing in the big leagues? How cool would that be?
I return home to see my parents have arrived-they are on vacation from Minnesota. They greet with smiles and hugs. Their presence reminds me of the wisdom they have shown throughout my life.
My mom has struggled to see me fail over and over, but she let it happen because she knew I needed to learn. She has an incredible heart and she constantly reminds me that I ought to strive to have a heart like that for others.
My dad still texts me before games and reminds me to play free. He knows that in the letting go, I am able to be my best. When I free myself of stress, worries and angst, I play differently.
What if everyone let go and worked, learned or played freely? What if we set aside our own stresses and concerned ourselves with the stresses of others? What would that look like?
I lay my head down for the night and mark a successful day because my journey has taken an unexpected, profound twist that has left it with far more meaning than before.
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