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Curse of the Pine Trees

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Simple baseball ineptitude can be explained by a lack of good pitching, fielding and hitting (and maybe even a little bad managing). However, the Twins' current level of ineptitude and misery cannot be explained through tradition baseball analysis. Tom Kelly used to say that a team is certain to win a third of its games and certain to lose a third, but it's how they play in that other third that determines the success of the team. The Twins have not even won that guaranteed one-third. The reason: THE CURSE OF THE PINE TREES. The hitters said they would hit better once the trees were removed from the "batter's eye" at Target Field - they're hitting worse. Look what the curse has done to Daanny Valencia - Did removing the trees improve his "batter's eye"? By chopping down those pine trees, he Twins have insulted Mother Nature herself, and she's ticked off bigtime (notice how even the weather at Target Field has been considerably worse in 2011 and 2012 seasons, since the trees were felled). Replant the pine trees NOW, or Twins Fans will suffer the longterm fate of other cursed clubs like the Cubs (cursed by the Billy Goat) and the Red Sox (the Bambino has returned after a brief heavenly vacation from decades of cursing them). Maybe some local Native American tribes can send in a spiritual specialist to help appease the angry forces of nature, too. Remember, how angry those trees were in the Wizard of Oz? That's nothing compared to the Curse of the Pine Trees on the Twins. Replant those trees!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  1. JB_Iowa's Avatar
    Do they have to move the same ones back or could they just use new ones, I wonder?

    At any rate, I agree that they need to break the curse of the pine trees (or spruces or whatever the were).

    So either replant or hire an exorcist.
  2. strumdatjag's Avatar
    Last night, Detroit scored ten runs. Maybe ruining the batter's eye will slow them down. Bring back the Pine Trees. LIFT THE CURSE!
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