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Axel Kohagen

Blue Jays, Old Age, Totally Lame. (Twins at Blue Jays -- Games 82-84)

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Centre of Horrors, With an “R-E” (Twins 0 Blue Jays 4 - Game 82)

After an early first pitch and late jog, my trusty phone informed me the Twins were down four to zip. Last week I might’ve had enough “never say die” to keep an eye on the game, but the Yankees took that with them back to New York.

Catching the pre-game show on my drive home didn’t exactly fill me with rainbows, hopes, and dreams. The crew kept referring to Rogers Centre as a “House of Horrors” for the Twins. They always lose there, but they aren’t exactly rampaging barbarians in Seattle or New York. Or anywhere else these last few years. Kind of a League of Horrors, really.

By the way, it took me a while to really understand “House of Horrors” meant something bad. Come on, what’s cooler than a house of horrors? Skulls and ghouls everywhere, with scares around every corner and a delightful mix of strobe lights and black lights?

Can this be a theme night for the Twins? It’d be something to look forward to after the All-Star break.

Pelfrey’s Patches Hold (Twins 6 Blue Jays 0 - Game 83)

Two three run innings, adding up to a 6-0 Twins victory, made a nice Saturday afternoon even nicer.

I caught part of the game on a fast food run, being careful to give the carload of teens next to me plenty of extra room. It’s only fair; with school being out, and most of them aren’t working full time. It’s their world, and if one of them has a car and a license, the rest pile in and cruise around. The destination is anywhere outside of the house.

Pelfrey’s no young pup. I’m glad to see him weather his first outing for a scoreless victory. He’s a big dude trying for a comeback. Long as he can take the mound every five outings, he gets to walk onto the diamond. Diamond dust is the fountain of youth; you can get younger just listening to people playing on the radio.

On the way home, I got stuck behind older drivers, but I just let it happen. According to my wife, I already drive like an old dude anyway. After all, I’ve got no reason to be out cruising with my buddies when I could be home napping on my couch after the game.

The game. It’s the only thing that stays the same long enough to tie all of these generations together. There’s something holy in that.

Game Over, Man (Twins 5 Blue Jays 11 - Game 84)

Sticking with last game’s “I’m an old dude” theme, I’ve mostly quit with video games. They make me feel trapped, like I’m inside the console and not sitting on the couch with a controller in my hands. The computers are too good and get too mad. Also, I’m too cheap to replace busted controllers and smashed drywall.

The Blue Jays’ score in today’s baseball game popped up like the score of a video game. Despite yesterday’s victory, another lopsided loss makes me wonder if the Twins ought to just swallow their pride and look for baseball’s instruction manual, or at least spend some time playing the tutorials.

Games are fun as long as there’s some chance for victory within them. Winning one game out of seven suggests this game is leaving the Twins behind.

There will be broken pieces to clean up, too. Every loss and scream of frustration puts the team and the fans one step closer to trades and roster moves. Each game may be a player’s last. Until they’re in the opposite dugout, spitting sunflower seeds and knocking the ball around for the bad guys.

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