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Twins and Losses

Potent Poet-ables

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(Originally posted on twinsandlosses.com)

Haikus written for each of the Twins Opening Day 2014 starters

This was our lineup,
An ode to Opening Day,
Looks different now.

C – Kurt Suzuki

We all know his age,
Yet still showing he has it.
Mauer wants his knees.

1B – Joe Mauer

Moved to first this year,
He found that sweet swing again!
Uh oh, back spasms.

2B – Brain Dozier

Should be an All Star,
Have you seen this dude’s Web Gems?
Please bring back the hair.

3B – Trevor Plouffe

He knows how to hit.
He has made the adjustments.
Now, consistency.

SS – Pedro Florimon

He can’t swing a bat,
Is the glove really worth it?
Here comes Santana.

LF – Josh Willingham

Been out since April,
Was hitting two ninety four,
Now can’t hit a tee.

CF – Aaron Hicks

Fly ball against wall,
Now on seven day DL.
Needs more Triple A.

RF – Oswaldo Arcia

Hurt after four games,
Wrist still sore in rehab stint.
Thank God he’s still young.

DH – Jason Kubel

Hey we know this guy,
Welcome back to Loserville.
Better than Cleveland?

SP – Ricky Nolasco

Big free agent splash,
Forty-nine million bucks.
Bring back Garza please.


  1. John Bonnes's Avatar
    It is pretty amazing, as you walk through here, just how much turnover there has been already.
  2. Twins and Losses's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by John Bonnes
    It is pretty amazing, as you walk through here, just how much turnover there has been already.
    Stability has certainly not been one of our strong suits in the past few years that's for sure. Throw in a "player-who-shouldn't-even-be-on-the-team" or a prospect (sometimes called up too early) into those gaps caused by injury, pair it with seemingly incompetent/cheap front office and you start accumulating consecutive 90+ loss seasons.

    I'll continue to harbor hope and optimism for the future with all the young talent still yet to blossom in the minors. I read an old Twins fan's post somewhere saying that he hadn't been this excited too see young blood in the organization since the '84-'85 years and we all know what happened after that. Fingers crossed.
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