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Thread: Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 7/8 @ 9:10pm CT

  1. #121
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer
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    Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? They say he's all right now.
    I couldn't be a player because of bad eyesight, so I decided to be an umpire instead.

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  3. #122
    Speediest Moderator All-Star snepp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tibs View Post
    The audio for FSN keeps cutting out every once in a while and it was been doing it for at least the last week or so. Is it doing that for anyone else?
    No.




    I'm jealous.
    "Maybe you could go grab a bat and ball… and learn something. Maybe you will get it."
    - Strib commenter educating the elitists on the value of RBI's

  4. #123
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer sampleSizeOfOne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Twins Daily. Come for the baseball, stay for the musical encyclopedia.
    Quote Originally Posted by Willihammer View Post
    Twinsdaily. Come for the baseball, stay for the textiles
    The bulk of my textile knowledge is from the ballad of harry lewis:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUVYsoreIe8

    And there is an instance doily should be capitalized, namely when it is well, a name, as in D'oyle Carte.

    Good luck on the curtains, Ash!

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  6. #124
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

    Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

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  8. #125
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Quick, Brian! What's the dirtiest joke you know?
    As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

    (wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

    Ok let's change the joke...

    Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

    A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

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  10. #126
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)
    How much do you need to fashion a noose?

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  12. #127
    Senior Member All-Star LaBombo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gibby View Post
    I would drape myself in velvet, if it was sociably acceptable.
    BBC correspondent D. Bowie makes a persuasive argument that ch ch ch changes are on the way, so don't recycle the velvet just yet.

    Also, are the Twins shutting out the SubMariners through seven? Cool!

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  14. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

    (wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

    Ok let's change the joke...

    Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

    A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".
    Heeeyyyyyoooooo!!!
    I couldn't be a player because of bad eyesight, so I decided to be an umpire instead.

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  16. #129
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

    Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.
    I may have rounded.

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  18. #130
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willihammer View Post
    How much do you need to fashion a noose?
    Oh, a fashion noose takes twice as much.

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  20. #131
    Senior Member Triple-A
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    You have to bunt here....

  21. #132
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

    Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

    This seems way complicated to me. My suggestion is to not buy any house that has windows wider than a standard roll of aluminum foil.
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

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  23. #133
    Head Moderator MVP glunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

    Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.
    Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

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  25. #134
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    I may have rounded.
    If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade.

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  27. #135
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glunn View Post
    Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.
    I didn't really explain that very well, but I knew what I meant.

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  29. #136
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

    Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.
    I love this about game threads. The fact that making curtains can be both sensibly and whimsically posted. The Folks at Indians Daily are jealous of us.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

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  31. #137
    Senior Member All-Star JB_Iowa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    I may have rounded.
    Nah, depending on the fabric, you want 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times the width of your windows. Then you figure out how many panels that is and take it times the appropriate length plus hems and headers to caluculate yardage.

    Depending on what fabric you are using, 100 yards really isn't that outrageous (especially if it is sheer or semi-sheer).

    Going to go crochet some doilies now.

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  33. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by glunn View Post
    Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.
    I'm still not completely sure what a doily is. Some kind of mat?
    I couldn't be a player because of bad eyesight, so I decided to be an umpire instead.

  34. #139
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by howeda7 View Post
    You have to bunt here....
    He missed the sign from third base. 500 dollar fine for getting the runner over to third.

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  36. #140
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade.
    Counsellor Glunn pretty much already established this, no?
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

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