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Thread: Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 7/8 @ 9:10pm CT

  1. #141
    Senior Member All-Star LaBombo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

    (wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

    Ok let's change the joke...

    Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

    A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".
    What was the original, more dangerous punchline, and why are you better off for not having revealed it?


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  3. #142
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JB_Iowa View Post
    Nah, depending on the fabric, you want 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times the width of your windows. Then you figure out how many panels that is and take it times the appropriate length plus hems and headers to caluculate yardage.

    Depending on what fabric you are using, 100 yards really isn't that outrageous (especially if it is sheer or semi-sheer).

    Going to go crochet some doilies now.
    Yup ... and ... you really want it cut from the same bolt ... different lots can yield slight differences in dyes.

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  5. #143
    Head Moderator MVP glunn's Avatar
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    Meanwhile, Fuld is 3 for 3, the defense has been solid, and the Twins have baserunners at the corners with no outs.

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  7. #144
    Senior Member Double-A
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  9. #145
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    And I'm just too tired to stay awake. I'll check the score in the morning.

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  11. #146
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Oh, a fashion noose takes twice as much.
    OK, I will solve everyone's fabric related problems right now.

    2-Ply.

    YW

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  13. #147
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glunn View Post
    Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.
    I don't even know that... Can't tell you how many times I've gone to the window to pull the cord... Only to find its all twisted so the curtains don't move. I usually pretend I didn't notice them not closed when my wife asks.

    She usually untangles them and closes them at this point and my only punishment is an eye roll.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

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  15. #148
    Head Moderator MVP glunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    And I'm just too tired to stay awake. I'll check the score in the morning.
    Sleep well.

  16. #149
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade.
    I had no role in this story except chauffeur, and now scribe.

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  18. #150
    Please ban me! All-Star stringer bell's Avatar
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    How about a crooked number?

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  20. #151
    Senior Member All-Star LaBombo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiTownTwinsFan View Post
    And I'm just too tired to stay awake. I'll check the score in the morning.
    All good. Just leave a cell # in case Perk implodes. Deal?

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  22. #152
    Head Moderator MVP glunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    I don't even know that... Can't tell you how many times I've gone to the window to pull the cord... Only to find its all twisted so the curtains don't move. I usually pretend I didn't notice them not closed when my wife asks.

    She usually untangles them and closes them at this point and my only punishment is an eye roll.
    You really need to write a book. And that one would help make a very funny pop up book.

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  24. #153
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JB_Iowa View Post
    Nah, depending on the fabric, you want 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times the width of your windows. Then you figure out how many panels that is and take it times the appropriate length plus hems and headers to caluculate yardage.

    Depending on what fabric you are using, 100 yards really isn't that outrageous (especially if it is sheer or semi-sheer).

    Going to go crochet some doilies now.
    Yeah but... You will run out of unique fruit at 100 yards. You'll have to throw in all the vegetables and finish up with a few animals.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

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  26. #154
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAFChief View Post
    Counsellor Glunn pretty much already established this, no?
    Ashbury: Want me to come along, save you some driving?
    ....yadda yadda yadda... some hours later ....yadda yadda yadda...
    Ashbury: I have only myself to blame for this escapade.

    It's the Law.

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  28. #155
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    I had no role in this story except chauffeur, and now scribe.
    Not banker?
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

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  30. #156
    Head Moderator MVP glunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringer bell View Post
    How about a crooked number?
    If the Twins can put up a crooked number then I will be willing to learn even more about curtains.

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  32. #157
    Senior Member All-Star JB_Iowa's Avatar
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    doily2.jpg

    doily1.jpg


    Doilies.

    Our grandmothers (probably your great-grandmother, Tibs) tended to put them on the arms and backs of chairs to protect the fabric. Also in the center of a table to beautify and protect the surface.

    Also, people put the paper kind under pastries, sweets and sandwiches to make the tray look nicer.

    Geez, y'all are making me be such a girl here.

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  34. #158
    Please ban me! All-Star stringer bell's Avatar
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    Way to go Dozier.

  35. #159
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaykay View Post
    I just about did that maneuver too. Glad I stuck around.

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  37. #160
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glunn View Post
    Meanwhile, Fuld is 3 for 3, the defense has been solid, and the Twins have baserunners at the corners with no outs.
    And now an SB

    Is there something in the walls in Seattle?

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