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Thread: Terry Ryan sitting at home watching the playoffs

  1. #1
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer
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    Terry Ryan sitting at home watching the playoffs

    Still doesn't believe in strikeout pitchers.

  2. #2
    Owner MVP Seth Stohs's Avatar
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    I might be mistaken, but the two biggest transactions that Ryan has made since he came back involved bringing in Alex Meyer and Trevor May, two starting pitchers who struck out more than one batter per inning in 2013.

  3. #3
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by notoriousgod71 View Post
    Still doesn't believe in strikeout pitchers.
    (Intercom)
    Secretary: Ron Gardenhire Line 4
    (Terry Ryan picks up phone)
    Ryan: Hello Ron... How are things in Little Canada.
    Gardy: I'm actually in Canada this week.
    Ryan: Why Canada?
    Gardy: No reason at all... I took a wrong turn and crashed through a checkpoint... There will probably be something in the paper about it. Don't believe what you read tomorrow... It was accidental. Anyway... The reason I'm calling... I've been working on some research. Interesting stuff... Its early in my analysis but... It turns out that pitchers who can strike batters out is a good thing. A.J Burnett, Ubaldo and Tim Lincecum are 3 guys who can do that sort of thing. We could get them for about 15 million... 3 to 4 years... 45 to 60 million.
    Ryan: That is solid research you are doing and my guys like all 3 of them. We've been kicking around 20 million a year to bring them in if that's what it takes. Hold on... (Pause)

    (Back on intercom)
    Ryan: If Ron is on line 4... Who is on line 1,2 and 3?
    Secretary: your wife is on line 1... Seth Stohs is on line 2... Jim Pohlad is on line 3.
    Ryan: They've been on hold all this time?
    Secretary: Well... Yeah... You can only take one phone call at a time.

    (Back on Phone)
    Ryan: Ron... I'm gonna put you on hold.
    (punches another line)
    Ryan: Seth.. I apologize for keeping you on hold (dial tone)

    (back on intercom)
    Call Seth Stohs back... Sincerely apologize and send him Cubans for the inconvenience.

    (Punches another line)
    Ryan: Hey Jim... Sorry to keep you waiting... It's busy here.
    Jim: Sounds like it... I was just calling for an update on your plans going forward.
    Ryan: Going good... We have zeroed in on Burnett, Jimenez and Lincecum... We figure they will cost about 20 Million each.
    Jim: That's 60 Million... Umm... Nope I don't think so... Well I was just checking in... Keep up the good work and Keep me posted as you go along.

    (punches another line)
    Ryan: Sorry bout that Ron
    Gardy: It's Ok... Your busy... So what did you think about my idea? Strikeout Pitchers for 2014

    (Intercom)
    Secretary: Seth Stohs Line 2

    Ryan: Ron I gotta go... Strikeout pitchers... Nope I don't believe in them.

    (punches another line)
    Ryan: Seth how you doing? Are you coming out to the cabin next week. Standing invitation as always.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  4. #4
    Senior Member All-Star Hosken Bombo Disco's Avatar
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    Scherzer Schmerzer... If pitching to contact means throwing thigh-high, middle-in fastballs to David Ortiz, then by golly, that's what we need to do.......... Benoit is a free agent if I'm not mistaken!?!?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer Oldgoat_MN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hosken Bombo Disco View Post
    Scherzer Schmerzer... If pitching to contact means throwing thigh-high, middle-in fastballs to David Ortiz, then by golly, that's what we need to do.......... Benoit is a free agent if I'm not mistaken!?!?
    We could get a king's ransom for Perkins if Detroit could trade for him today.
    I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost 3 days already.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Double-A zenser's Avatar
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    Detroit got 15 outs last night via strikeouts and lost the game. We definitely don't want strikeout pitchers. <sarcasm>

  7. #7
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldgoat_MN View Post
    We could get a king's ransom for Perkins if Detroit could trade for him today.
    Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February.

  8. #8
    Senior Member All-Star JB_Iowa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February.

    His wife needs to get him on her running program ASAP.

  9. #9
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February.
    great. Just great. Now every GM in the league knows.
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

  10. #10
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAFChief View Post
    great. Just great. Now every GM in the league knows.
    Thanks a heap. I purposely put the smiley face on there so that the many GMs who read this site would think I was kidding. Now they know my info was legit.

  11. #11
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Thanks a heap. I purposely put the smiley face on there so that the many GMs who read this site would think I was kidding. Now they know my info was legit.
    If they didn't before, they do now.
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

  12. #12
    Senior Member All-Star Thrylos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seth Stohs View Post
    I might be mistaken, but the two biggest transactions that Ryan has made since he came back involved bringing in Alex Meyer and Trevor May, two starting pitchers who struck out more than one batter per inning in 2013.
    In the minors.

    And his biggest transactions in the majors as far as pitching goes was to re-sign Capps (and lose a couple draft picks) and sign Correia and Pelfrey.

    Nice
    -----
    Blogging Twins since 2007 at The Tenth Inning Stretch
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    twitter: @thrylos98

  13. #13
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer Oldgoat_MN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Are you kidding? It's the off-season. Perkins is out of shape by now - probably has a fifteen pound beer gut from playing cards and xbox with his buddies that he'll have to work off next January and February.
    Haha. I knew you were kidding.
    I saw him at the gym yesterday, and the beach the day before. Yeah, he was helping people pull their boats out of the water.

    I tried to tell him what great shape he looked to be in, but he just kept saying nice things about some guy named Dave Dombrowski.
    I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost 3 days already.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thrylos View Post
    In the minors.

    And his biggest transactions in the majors as far as pitching goes was to re-sign Capps (and lose a couple draft picks) and sign Correia and Pelfrey.

    Nice
    And what should he have done?

  15. #15
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    This thread had such promise to just be fun.......
    Lighten up Francis....

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